My Week in Hell: Autobiography of Mike Schmidt
by Ashlex in pearl
Summary: Trying to find a job nowadays sucks, right? Especially if you're hired to be fodder for an angry mob of robotic singing animals who are just out for blood. Freddy Fazbear's Pizzaria is not the place I remembered as a child, its not the one anyone does. Rated M for my foul mouth and potential violent undertones.


My life was pretty dull up until this point. I dropped out of college, got fired from several fast food and retail jobs, and went through at least a dozen girlfriends. But, I think it's now, here in this place, that I finally realize what I should have know all along.

I hate god damn people so much.

There isn't much more to it, I just can't stand people. They are backstabbing liars, and even when they are telling the truth, they are boring as hell. I'm not saying I'm an extreme thrill seeker. All I want is more than what I've always had. And that's nothing.

Though, in retrospect, I probably didn't have it so bad after all.

My parents were both well off lawyers, so we were never in any way poor or needy. I went to private schools, had personal tutors, and even attended an elite college. The experience should have readied me for the real world, for what I want to do in life. Or rather, what my parents wanted me to do. Law school, so I can listen to excuses for the rest of my life.

Yeah, right.

That brings me, then, to my current situation. I needed a new job, and there was one place in town that was hiring on the spot: Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. It was a small chain, though recognizable anywhere in the country. I had thought it had fallen off the face of the planet after the stories that seemed to spread. Maybe they weren't true, which adds to the lies people tell which severely pisses me off.

If they were true, that was even worse and made me wonder why I even bothered in the first place.

Last week I had talked to a guy over the phone, I guess he was the one in charge of the staff or something. He told me I would be working the night shift, from 12-6 am, five nights a week. It didn't seem like a bad deal, and the pay was decent for part time. He didn't give much more information, other than to stop by a bit early to get my uniform and get a handle on how things are going to go.

As I walked into the place, the last of the employees leaving themselves, I started to wonder why a pizzeria even needed a night watchman. It's not like the place was opened past ten-o'clock, much less twelve. Walking past the games, the smell of cheese and sauce still in the air from the last customers, it really brought me back to when I was a kid. I had to smile, remembering the only time my parents let me have some fun.

We came to the restaurant for my birthday, no party, just pizza and games. I was 14 and they let me play any of the games I wanted to. All the noise, the running kids, the adults following behind them, and the-

I paused as I was walking across the main party hall. The memory made me remember something important about this place: the animatronics, Freddy and his friends. I turned slowly, as I had back then, but they weren't right behind me. They weren't walking around, conversing with the kids, trying to give them pizza and cupcakes. They were on the stage. With Freddy in the middle, and Chica and Bonnie on either side. Oh yeah, I remembered them well. It sent a shiver down my spine as I turned abruptly and proceeded down the hall to the security room.

* * *

"Hello? Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get through your first night..."

Back in the security room, away from the lights of the games and the creaking of the floor boards as the building settled for the night, there was a message on a machine waiting for me. The voice was the same guy who I had talked to on the phone not that long ago. It seemed odd that he would record a message for me instead of meeting me here to tell me all I needed to know.

"...I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week, now, as a matter of fact... So, I wanted to tell you that there's nothing you should worry about, you'll do fine. Lets just focus on getting you through your first week, okay?"

As I changed from my shirt into the night guard uniform they provided for me, I glanced at the machine. He had said over the phone that the job pays weekly, since they've had trouble keeping guards longer than that. The situation confused me a little, but, what can I do? My rent has been overdue for weeks now.

"...First, there's an introductory greeting from the company, that I'm supposed to read. It's uh, kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, 'Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, a magical place for kids and grownups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovery that damage or death have occurred-'"

I paused, pulling the shirt over my head. Did he just say death?

"'-a missing persons report will be filed within 90 days or as soon as property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced' blah blah blah. Now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about."

My eyes were wide as I listened to this man talk, this man who never even gave me his name when he hired me. What had I gotten myself into? He told me it was an easy job, just keep watch over the place at night to make sure no one breaks in or anything like that. Now, he's making it seem like there is an _actual_ threat in this place.

"The animatronic characters here do get a bit...quirky at night..." he went on. I quickly finished changing, grabbed my Fazbear Entertainment hat and sat in front of the machine. It was on the desk with a metal fan that seemed to buzz more than blow out air and large computer screen with buttons that were connected to each camera in the building. The screen was currently on the stage in the main party room. It moved slowly back it forth, giving me a great side view of the animatronics on stage.

And by great, I mean seriously creepy.

"...but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for 20 years, and I never got a bath, I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children, and we need to show them a little respect. Right? Okay."

I snorted, folding my arms. What the hell was this guy on? They're some kind of robot, right? Aren't robots supposed to not have feelings? What did it matter if I treated them with respect or not? What were they gonna do, come and kill me for it or something?

As the thought crossed my mind, I immediately regretted it. Didn't he say injury or death can occur?

"So just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh... they're left in some kind of free-roaming mode at night. Something about their servos getting locked up if they get turned off for too long..."

There it was. My biggest regret coming to bite me in the ass. The animatronics probably wandered around and attacked one of the other guards. Or maybe just them wandering around was enough to scare them off. It is a freaky thought.

"They used to be allowed to walk around during the day, too...But then there was the bite of '87. Yeah... it's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?"

I was leaning forward, closer to the machine at this point. I was starting to believe him. Glancing back up at the screen brought me back to reality. The animatronics were still just standing there, the same way they had been before. Were any of them capable of biting off some poor saps frontal lob? Their mouths didn't seem big enough... plus, their teeth looked kinda flat. Folding my arms, I glared at the machine again. Was this guy just trying to freak me out? It was a pretty dickish move if he was. I know some places tell ghost stories to freak out newbies, but this was pretty extreme.

"Now, concerning your safety, the only real risk to you, as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters uh, if they happen to see you after hours, probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now, since that's against the rules here at Freddy's Fazbears Pizza, they'll probably try to uh... forcibly stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit."

Could this guy sound any more ridiculous? Now that I was onto his game, his whole spiel sounded like complete bullshit. As if these animatronics could really identify me as anything, especially as a metal 'endoskeleton' whatever that meant.

"Now that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wiring, and animatronic devices. Especially around the facial area. So you can imagine how having your head forcibly stuffed inside one of those could cause a bit of...discomfort... and death..."

There was the talk of death again. Even if I didn't believe it, it still sent a shiver down my spine.

"The only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth... as they pop out the front of the mask. Yeah... they don't tell you these things when you sign up."

I scoffed at his words. Why the hell would you tell someone that? Any sane person wouldn't stick around if they knew they could die at any moment.

"But hey, first day should be a breeze, I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and make sure to only close those doors if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, goodnight."

As the message clicked off, I took a look around the room, really taking in the surroundings for the first time. The desk with the screen and the fan was in the center of the tiny room. Within arms reach, on either side, was a button for the door and another for the light right outside the window into the hall. A tiny meter on the main screen showed how much power was left in the building, and it seemed like enough to last the night. But, what if I needed to close the doors? Will the animatronics really get close? Do they even walk around like he said?

As I stood from my chair, I glanced at the screen again. Freddy and his friends still hadn't moved, and I truly started believing they never would. I decided to peek out the doors on either side to see what I was really up against.

I leaned out the west hall first. It was dark at the end, but I could see a flickering light above the doorway that led to the party room. There wasn't much to see, aside from the trash lining the corners, what appeared to be some wires hanging from the ceiling, and the door to the broom closet.

With a sigh, I stepped back inside and leaned out to the east hall. There wasn't a light out here, just straight darkness to the doorway to the party room and, presumably, the kitchen. The guy on the phone had told me that the kitchen camera is the only one that doesn't work, but it does still pick up sound.

I sat back down and rubbed my temples. This was all way too much to take in all at once. Moving robots? That could potentially kill me? Not to mention I had to worry about losing power. What would happen then? The place would go dark, for sure. But then, even the animatronics wouldn't be able to see me. Maybe a power outage was perfect.

A strange feeling in my gut told me otherwise.

As that feeling hit, the camera screen flickered. They went black for a moment, before returning up to the same screen. I raised an eyebrow as I flicked each button, looking at each camera. There wasn't any reason that the cameras should have went out. But then, if the power can go out so easily here, maybe its just faulty wiring. I sat back with a sigh and glanced towards the west hall. The wires sticking out from the ceiling told me this place could really use some TLC. It definitely wasn't the same Freddy Fazbear's Pizza I remembered as a kid. The childrens' drawings lining the walls looked old, older than me, and seemed to depict a much different environment. It was, literally, like night and day.

As I glanced at the screen again, my stomach sank. It was gone. Bonnie the bunny had moved. I sat forward quickly, flicking through the screens in a panic trying to find him. After a few moments, I sighed in relief. He was just in front of the stage, staring up at Freddy and Chica. Seems the guy was right, they do wander a little. If that's all they do, then fine. So long as they stay there.

* * *

An hour or so passed in silence.

I kept an eye on Bonnie as he seemed to wander the party room like a lost child. It was a strange sight, just watching the thing walk back and forth from table to table. At the same time, it was kind of sad. They used to be able to do that during the day when people were around, but now they could only stand on the stage and watch the people walk past them.

The rock star syndrome.

I leaned back in my chair and sighed, "Am I just supposed to sit here?" I asked aloud to myself. The quiet was deafening. I couldn't take it anymore. I stood with a grunt and stretched my arms. Sitting in one spot for so long was something I wasn't used to. Maybe I was just too active as a child, but sitting still for so long really annoys me. I looked through some of the papers sitting on the desk, just out of curiosity. There wasn't anything interesting there, just some receipts from different stores and more kids drawings. Kids really did seem to love this place. I couldn't help but smile, remembering the little bit of joy I was allowed here. After that day my parents brought me, I tried to steal away here any chance I could. I walked home after school, avoiding the nanny and making up the excuse that I had detention or some after school project.

I laughed a little to myself remembering the few months I went telling my parents I was in the school play. They were confused by my choices, but glad I was taking an interest in something. "Extra-curricular activities look great on a college resume," is what my father always told me. But, that lie didn't last.

I frowned, remembering the last time I came to the restaurant. It was a Saturday afternoon, and there were cops everywhere. Something had happened inside, something with the animatronics. There were so many people screaming and crying on the sidewalk. I couldn't understand it, but after that, the restaurant closed down for a while.

It only recently opened back up somewhere new, if you can even call this dump new, which is why they were hiring I guess.

With a sigh, I turned back to the screens and started to flick through. Everything was still quiet, nothing out of the ordinary. When I returned it to the party room, Bonnie was gone.

Nowhere to be seen.

I flicked through again, where could he have gone so quickly? I was just in every camera. Out in the hall, I heard a strange sound. A click, that sounded like a door opening and closing. I stood and leaned my head out, holding the button down to turn the light on. There was a door down the hall it looked like, but who could have gone inside?

Sitting back down I glanced at a little map drawn out on a piece of paper for me. There _was_ a small room just down the hall, and a camera inside it as well. Flicking to the camera, I sat back in my seat a bit.

There, between a broom and a mop in the closet, Bonnie stood staring into the camera. His cold metal eyes seem to stare right into me, like he was really trying to see me.

That is, if he could really see. I wasn't sure how these robots worked, but I could be those eyes were just a shell covering whatever mechanism allowed these things to wander the rooms without bumping into anything. But even still, why did Bonnie wander into the broom closet?

I sighed, sitting back and flipping back to the main stage screen. Freddy and Chica were still there, just staring into the distance with their freaky eyes.

"Give me a break..." I mumbled to the dark. This place is creepy enough during the day, why did I think this would be a good idea? Who the hell would ever think this was a good idea?

A little clock above the screen flashed the time at me with a very dim light. Just after three. There was still so long left in the night. Three more hours of mind-numbing silence.

As if on cue, there was music.

I blinked, slumped down a bit in my chair. There shouldn't be anything running out there, and even if there was, they're so old they can't exactly play on their own. It sounded familiar, but I couldn't really place where I'd heard it before. But, it also didn't seem to be coming from the halls, it sounded like it was louder on the screens. Wherever it was, the cameras were definitely closer to it than I was.

I flicked from the stage to Pirate Cove. The music was a lot quieter, which meant it was on the other side of the building.

From Pirate Cove, I switched to camera 7 by the bathrooms. It was louder, but still somehow far off. With a sigh, I switched back to 6.

And there it was.

The music was so loud in this room, but the camera was sound only. Checking my notes on my map again, it turned out to be the kitchen. Something was in the kitchen. But, who could it be? All the animatronics were on the party floor. Well, except for…

I tensed, shooting up as I heard footsteps coming towards the door. I held the door light on for the west hall. It was empty right outside the door, but I could still hear the steps. I started to stick my head out the door, glancing to the left, then to the right.

Then Bonnie ran right towards me.

I pulled my head back in and slammed the door down faster than I could even take a breath. With the light still on, I could see his shadow on the wall. I couldn't breathe, I could think, I just kept my hand pressed against that button.

The music from the kitchen still played loud from the speakers. It must have been what brought him here. He was so unaware of me before, but then I had to be a freaking idiot and find the music playing with the cameras.

I tensed again as I heard his footsteps again. He was walking away this time. I flashed the light a couple times, but there was nothing out there. Letting the door rise, I fell to my knees, trying to catch my breath.

"There has to be a better way to do this..." I said, staring at the ground. With a sigh, I stood and returned to my chair. The camera screens went out again as I tried to switch back to the party floor.

The clock read 3:10. Still a long night ahead.


End file.
